Lousy Preliminaries

I am hating our preliminary examination schedule. Completely hating it. Why? Well, the exams dates are February 12, 13, 15, 16, and 17. :( Darnnit!! Oh well... no choice.

A Realization

Today, on my ride home from school... I suddenly realized something about myself. I'm very insecure! Now I don't take it that badly. Insecurity has its ups and downs. I'll state a few thanks to my thought after my realization.

The good things about being insecure are:

1.A high possibility of you being absolutely faithful.
Why so? Just think! Can an insecure person actually go around and flirt with other people when he/she is actually insecure?! It's like common sense! You don't even have to think to come to that conclusion.

2.Fights can be easily solved thanks to your insecurity.
How can this be? Think about it! You're insecure. The only faults you'll notice are your own. Even if your partner goes and hits on other people in front of you, you'll just be thinking 'Darn! Am I that unattractive? Maybe I should go on a diet?(for girls) Maybe I should go buff up? (for boys) See? So any fight that no matter who started will be easily resolved with your defeat.

3.Aiming to improve yourself just to match or be the best you are for your partner.
Of course since you're insecure, you just want to keep improving yourself to the extent that you'd do everything just to look better than your partner's previous ones. There's this inner feeling of wanting to look the best for your partner thanks to all the insecurity.


The bad side?

1.You put too much pressure on yourself.
Why so? Well duh? You just want to keep making yourself better even though you can't do anything since you were born or grew up that way. You just want to just so that you can feel secure and feel that I'm the best there is now so don't leave me. Like that.

2.You make excuses for your partner and you blame yourself.
The line explains itself. Since you're insecure, the only faults you'll see are yours and you make excuses for your partner even though they're the one who did wrong.

3.Moving on is going to be so hard.
Since you'll be spending your 'single time' pondering what of your faults didn't your partner like.


Well... That was the total random realization I just realized on the ride home. Quite deep somehow but making lots of sense to me every time I read it. :)

January 28, 2010

Today is actually St Thomas Feast Day or something St Thomas. I'm honestly not sure but I don't care because classes were suspended today. So starts my adventure !!


It all began when I was dropped off at España where I crossed the highway to get to UST. As I was walking over to the nearest gate which was beside the Architecture building (the small gate near the grandstand or corner of P. Noval and España), I noticed something really appalling... the little gate was... CLOSED! Much to my dismay, I had to get into the campus grounds somehow so I decided to make my way to the other España gate... which was actually quite far. Not even halfway to the other gate, I stopped in my tracks and thought 'Wait... Isn't P Noval gate kinda closer?'. After thinking twice of where my next step should be, I quickly turned around and headed for the only P. Noval gate. As I was walking over, I thought 'Am I there yet? Am I there yet? How come I never realized before that the only P Noval gate is actually quite far from España?' while continuously walking.


Finally, I reached the P. Noval gate. It was slightly open and there was a girl waiting outside the gate so I thought 'Darnnit!! The gate's closed!' until a random guy went pass me and opened the gate. The moment I saw him go in, I thought 'Heck! I'm going in!' and went in. As though I was a thief entering an unknown territory, the first thing I did when I went in was look for the security guard. He wasn't there. Like a thief, I thought 'Safe! Time to head for the Main Building'.

I walked over to the Main Building and when I got there, there was a sign on the door "No Office Today" so I was like 'Holy-! May gagawin si Ruth sa Dean's!! Paano na to!?!!'

Then one of the head security guards who knew me suddenly told me "Walang office ngayon. Ano ba kailangan mo gawin?"

I said "Wala naman po. May ipapasa raw kasi yung kaibigan ko sa Dean's eh." which was quickly answered with "Oh? Hindi siya makakapasok. Pinipigilan ng mga guard na pumasok yung mga estudyante ngayon kasi walang pasok eh."

After a little pause he asked "Paano ka nakapasok?"

I told him "Sa P Noval gate po. Nakabukas po eh."

A little shocked he asked "Hindi ka pinigilan ng guard?"

Thinking back at the moment I came in, I said "Hindi po. Wala pong guard eh. Nandun po siya sa gym nung pumasok ako eh. May kausap sa phone."

With his expression relieved he told me "Kaya pala. May ginagawa. Buti hindi ka pinigilan. Ano ba gagawin mo dito?"

"Magkikita lang po kami ng kaibigan ko dito tapos pupunta na po kaming St. Luke's."

Yada, yada, yada... blah, blah, blah. We talked for a while and the main thing I found out was that the priests weren't allowing students to go into the university campus so my friends and I decided to meet at McDonald's Lacson.


After meeting at McDonald's, we headed over to España and rode a jeep to St. Luke's. After our little trip to St. Luke's, we had nothing else to do so we thought 'GALA!' and Ruth suggested Trinoma. I barely go there so I have no idea how to go. While we were heading to the jeep station, Benjo said "MoA na lang" so~ we ended up going to MoA!!


One thing lead to another and we went to MoA just to watch a movie and play in the arcade. All in all, it was great. We had a ton of fun. Thank you, St. Thomas, for giving us this day off!!!

Randomness...

Bored at the computer lab... I thought... 'Might as well update my blog since there's nothing else to do.' then I go 'Wait! I don't know what to write!!!' so here I am... randomly ranting. (:D) Randomly. There's nothing else to do but rant and rant and rant... and RANT!!! (XD)

So~

Plurking. Listened in class... etc. Time to poof. Off to the next class. :)

First Post of the Year

It is currently January 2, 2010! Yes, 2010! I was unable to use the computer yesterday due to my father and brother fighting over the computer. I didn't want to add in to the battle.

Currently, I am in a doomed state. Why? Well, my homework over the Christmas break would be one reason. I cannot find the data on our experiment! I am so totally DOOMED!

Then there's the 5 chapter long quiz we are going to have once we get back to school. Talk about back to school welcoming.

Lastly, there's my major homework. Yes! MAJOR! The subject being Theology. Believe me when I say it is my major subject! The course itself is actually 12 untis! If I fail that beloved course, then I'm going to get debarred. Not a single other college or university would accept me into their beloved institution if I fail my major subject, PH-THEO! (lol. okay. God is going to hate me for going overboard with that.)

The Invisible Thread

This is my facebook status message for today:

You are my ecstasy

Seeing you makes me feel so happy

It's like I'm going crazy

If anyone is wondering, here's my answer:

No! I did not hear that from some random song. That's what my heart's saying at the moment. It really does sound like it came from a song and all but no. It's mine. ♥ I have that copyrighted... maybe. Anyhow, when I my heart is saying something, my brain listens and asks my hands to translate for my heart. It's a wonderful connection between them. ^^

OMGoodness...

I just have to post this emoness I got just from trying to express in my status message in facebook what I feel deep down.

Here's the line:

I don't know why but I'm missing you like crazy and I don't know how to say it.

I know it's unreasonable but please just stay.

Until the day comes when you've grown so tired of me and want to be set free.

When that day comes, I'm going to drown myself in misery.

I don't want you to feel bad that you didn't leave earlier

because I treasure the times we had like they were my future.

Due to the fact that facebook status messages only allow 420 characters... my 696 character long status was reduced that much. That little line or whatever you call it up there was actually a few lines longer. I had to think real hard on what to remove so that the meaning will stay the same. That's why I ended up with this.

The shocking thing is... those lines sound like they came from a song but I can swear my life on it that I only thought that up when I was missing a special someone in my life. I'm scared of losing that special someone. I've turned into a real coward now, there's no doubt about it.

Side Note: I miss you so much already! :'(